Necessity noticed

Wednesday night a missionary came and preached about being a servant of God. It really got me thinking about the way I looked at missionaries who basically dropped out from the missions field. I always looked at it like "its the will of God for them to be there, how dare they let things get to them and turn their back on God." I always saw a missionary's return as a lack of faith and a blatent disregard to God's will. But wednesday the focus of this complaint started to shift upon me.

For though I preach the gospel, I have nothing to glory of: for necessity is laid upon me; yea, woe is unto me, if I preach not the gospel!

For if I do this thing willingly, I have a reward: but if against my will, a dispensation of the gospel is committed unto me.

What is my reward then? Verily that, when I preach the gospel, I may make the gospel of Christ without charge, that I abuse not my power in the gospel.

For though I be free from all men, yet have I made myself servant unto all, that I might gain the more.
1Corinthians 9:16-19

I started to think of all the times we have gone on visitation. Going into some good neighborhoods, some bad, sometimes getting caught in the rain and sometimes walking in the humid georgia heat. Complaining about the wrong shoes, or the fact that I or others may be hungry for dinner. All the while not considering the situations some missionaries may be going through in order to spread the gospel. In situations more threatening, without the promise of their own warm bed to go home to at night. Yet still, we labor here to just simply get through our hour of visitation with only our discomforts on our minds. So where is the necessity, my necessity to share His word with those around me. I finally took the courage today to give out a track to a kid i just met in the store. It was the first time I had ever done so despite my own thoughts of how desprate the need to do so was. Oh, so so much to learn....... and He is teaching.