Though I thought this week would be like any other (& honestly a little duller), it has turned out to be a rollercoaster of realizations that I assumed were out to get me At the end of this week, after all is said(though all is not done). I know that things are changing for the better. God has been working on me about bitterness and jealousy. So many thoughts were just about me this week and now I know that thinking about myself only fueled this bitterness which then lead to jealousy. And that is just never good. Its about my dad. I love him so much. And knowing that he's not saved tears me apart. And as I have been thinking about his salvation another friend of mine, Danielle is confronted with the same situation. Her blogs have helped me more than she knows and after talking to my youth Pastor about this and other things, I have a renewed faith that he WILL get saved. And not by me, something obvious but something I have to remember, that its only by the grace of God that he WILL be saved. With all this I see clearer now why he has not seen the grace of God himself, because not only has bitterness obscured my prayers but it has also hidden the act of grace in my own life. How is he to know the grace of God if I don't show it through my life itself? I pray that he will be saved soon and ask that you pray for him as well.

I found this poem on another blog and thought it described this week better than I could.

It's been a long long time.
so much has happened.
i have laughed.
i have cried.
i have lived.
i have died.
i have loved
i have hated
i have fought
i've debated
i have lost
i have won
and now...i am done
i've sung the last song
that remains to be sung
fought the last fight
that remains to be won
nothing is left
but to live and to die
to watch and to wait
to laugh and to cry
to pray that you hear me
when i cannot talk
to beg to be carried
when i cannot walk
to reach for the light
tho it seems far away
to endure torture and blessing
in every last day