Though I thought this week would be like any other (& honestly a little duller), it has turned out to be a rollercoaster of realizations that I assumed were out to get me At the end of this week, after all is said(though all is not done). I know that things are changing for the better. God has been working on me about bitterness and jealousy. So many thoughts were just about me this week and now I know that thinking about myself only fueled this bitterness which then lead to jealousy. And that is just never good. Its about my dad. I love him so much. And knowing that he's not saved tears me apart. And as I have been thinking about his salvation another friend of mine, Danielle is confronted with the same situation. Her blogs have helped me more than she knows and after talking to my youth Pastor about this and other things, I have a renewed faith that he WILL get saved. And not by me, something obvious but something I have to remember, that its only by the grace of God that he WILL be saved. With all this I see clearer now why he has not seen the grace of God himself, because not only has bitterness obscured my prayers but it has also hidden the act of grace in my own life. How is he to know the grace of God if I don't show it through my life itself? I pray that he will be saved soon and ask that you pray for him as well.

I found this poem on another blog and thought it described this week better than I could.

It's been a long long time.
so much has happened.
i have laughed.
i have cried.
i have lived.
i have died.
i have loved
i have hated
i have fought
i've debated
i have lost
i have won
and now...i am done
i've sung the last song
that remains to be sung
fought the last fight
that remains to be won
nothing is left
but to live and to die
to watch and to wait
to laugh and to cry
to pray that you hear me
when i cannot talk
to beg to be carried
when i cannot walk
to reach for the light
tho it seems far away
to endure torture and blessing
in every last day

His Sacrifice

Something hit me hard yesterday. I came to the realization that i shouldn't fear...... fear things that scare me... I'll clarify myself. Something as simple as a bump in the night can send me shivering under my covers. But then I realized that i don't have to fear. Now, yes, i should fear a crazed ax murderer or anyone running after me with something sharp ( or at least i think so). But it wasn't really a physical fear, one that could be dealt with a karate chop( or any form of defense for that matter). It was a fear in my mind, a fear of scarey things in the night... familiar spirits, i guess anything evil that someone ( you know who you are) kept bringing to the forefront of my mind. But yesterday i came to the realization that He can protect me from anything that may scare me. I had heard that before and even said it to myself but never really felt its comfort. But then I heard the words "I've (Him) seen the darker side of hell" in the song "Carry Me". Those words made me realize that He has seen and been through the worst and for lack of a better word, the scariest. That no matter what i see or hear in the night, that he's gone through much worse for me.... and rolling forward into this truth, that He felt the flames of hell for ME.

My Kitty-Cats

Velvet

Frisky

My little kittens-aren't they soooooo cute!!

*Yippee*

Yay! My 1st blog. Hmmm, hey to all ya'll out there :) Yeah, i know, i'm a dork(hehehe).
Yes!! Finally a place to lay down my thoughts...pick 'em up, throw 'em around and just Think...yipee. Anyways....
Yay... i finally got my learners permit! i thought i didn't care, that the amusement of being able to get behind the wheel and legally drive( with a responsible adult, yes, but still...) i thought it wouldn't be a big deal but now after gettin to drive for the 1st time today....im actually happy, waiting to give it a go, again.
& to all yall at Camp right now....I miss u guys sooooooooo much. I cant wait till i see you guys sunday.Love yall