Grace Graduation

This past Friday was one of the most important days of my life, high school graduation. I was expecting to be depressed beyond consolation when the event was over but something different has occupied my heart and mind. Yes, I did cry...for reasons like forgetting to pose for my parents when I got my diploma and knowing that a few close friends were going to move to Ohio only a few days later. But when I got home and all was said and done I cried for a different reason. Its hard not to look back at my last four years without seeing the complete change God had made in my life through a single phone call my dad made.
About four years ago I was home schooled, going along with my schoolwork, running into frequent speed bumps when it came to math. I wanted to go back to public school after three years of being home schooled, even though I was pretty much afraid of people, especially kids around my age. I wanted to go to a decent school that actually cared about academics instead of passing kids through the system... I wanted to go to Columbus High School. I knew I had to pass a test to enter CHS, and in order to do so I had to get better in math. I couldn't wait to go to a real school building and have friends, a classroom, school desks with paper and pencils and a chalkboard and the chance to hear the school bell ring. My dad decided to make some calls, to random places, to find me a tutor that would help me toward this lofty goal of mine. He called christian schools, hoping to find a respectful young person that he could trust to help me. He got referenced to a girl who attended Grace Christian School, who later accepted the request to tutor me a couple times a week. Yes, I was scared but as I saw it, I had to press on and do what I had to to get this accomplished. When I finally met this person, I was too shy to talk to her and her family and I think muttered only a few words but they were all polite, outgoing and helpful. There was something about her family, even her room that was different than usual, but I couldn't put my finger on it, I just knew that I felt safe going there every week. She would talk to me about who she was and would ask me questions, then tutor me as best as she could. I was as stubborn as a mule, I was always afraid to be wrong and looked at as dumb and would have her try to show me things through instead of me showing her if I understood it. I knew my progress was slow through my stubbornness but I figured Id eventually get comfortable and try harder then. Throughout all this she was as patient as she could be. She began to invite me to youth group activities at her church and witness to me. I always said I was busy, knowing I just didn't want to go somewhere where I didn't know most of the people. Id take the tracts she'd give me and look over them, & think that , yeah, it was a nice idea to think about God but I didn't really need to, did I? Id assure myself that I was a good person, that I could talk to God whenever I wanted to, that I was already what she called saved 'cause I wanted to talk to God. But eventually I gave it a go and went to a scavenger hunt with her church youth group. To my surprise I met some cool people that quickly befriended me. At one point the youth pastor prayed, saying that if anyone wasn't saved that they would invite Him into their hearts...., I looked up and expected kids to have their eyes open, playing along with the pastor, acting spiritual. But they weren't, I didn't understand but didn't really try to find out why they did this either. Well, a couple months had passed and I took the test to go to Columbus High. I thought I did well, yet knew that I didn't do so great on the math section. The verdict finally came in the mail, whether or not I was going to Columbus High, my goal, my dream.... I opened up the envelope and I...didn't get in. I felt my heart break, I saw this as my only chance to get back to a good High School. What would I do now? We talked to the CHS administrator and she said I could only attend the school if I entered in as a freshman when I was already a sophomore. I figured I would stay home schooled and not go to a school, that I was too dumb and couldn't succeed anyway. But my tutor invited me to go to Grace Christian School for one day and see how I liked it. I told my parents that I didn't want to attend a school where I'd be religiously brainwashed and wouldn't be taught the right information. But something happened, I don't know what but I decided to go. I decided to go with her to check out the school, figuring we wouldn't have enough money to attend Grace anyway so why not spend my day going to an actual school for the fun of it. We entered the school( I was as nervous as I could be), and I followed her through the crowded hall, up the stairs to the class. I sat on the side of English class, was briefly introduced and intently watched everything. People were actually happy, and had a sense of humor. They weren't vulgar and depressing to be around. I went throughout the day meeting people and with every minute I was there I grew to like it more and more. By the end of the day I was telling my parents how awesome it was to be at Grace, how it felt like home to me. The following Thursday we talked the high school principle to see if I could enroll, the following Tuesday I began my first day as a student at Grace Christian School. For the first time in my life I knew it was were I was suppose to be, I love that school.
Now I am an Alumni of Grace, it makes me sad but it warms my heart to know that I graduated and spent my last few years at a place that I didn't just go through to get a diploma.I went there to unexpectedly find a family who loved me, a family of teachers,students and pastors who cared not only about what entered into my mind but what was in my heart. Before I went to Grace, I wanted to map out my life myself, I wanted to do what I wanted to do with no idea where I was headed. I wanted to believe what I wanted to believe without giving care to the important things in life. And the most important, where I was going when my life was over and who it belongs to while I'm still here on earth.
Those who read my blog know that the Lord has been working in my heart about having the confidence to do things in front of groups of people. Over the past few weeks He has given me the strength to give a speech at an Honor Society Induction and sing for teen Sunday, baccalaureate and graduation. Before I trusted in the Lord I would have not been able to stand, too scared that my knees would knock and Id be too nervous. But with His grace Ive been able to do more than I ever have and pray for this grace for when I enter PCC this fall.
This is my favorite verse, read at my graduation:
Psalm 27:1
The Lord is my light and my salvation; whom shall I fear? the Lord is the strength of my life; of whom shall I be afraid?

Thank you Lord